Irkworm Zim
by Darkon Shadows
Summary: After years of calling humans "worm babies", he gets to find out what being a worm is like. Minor song fic inclusion. One-shot. Fusion archetype.


Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and Earthworm Jim.

Darkon Note: I just got this idea stuck in my head for an Invader Zim one-shot and I wrote it like I was going to continue it or something… oh well…

Summary: After years of calling humans worm babies, Zim gets his just desserts.

Story: Irkworm Zim!

**Secret base on earth…**

There was this odd house at the end of the circle that had a purple roof, a bunch of odd lawn gnomes that had laser turrets for eyes and the house was busy siphoning power from all its next door neighbors.

Inside this house was an odd little green dog with black spots named Gir that was really a tiny robot in disguise, it either liked to act very stupid or it was really very stupid, it was the slave of the owner to this badly designed home and had the odd ability to survive entirely by biological energy sources, one of the ways the owners leaders were incidentally right when they said Gir was advanced when they picked him out of the garbage.

Speaking of which the owner of this home was named Zim, a short Irken that caused his race tons of destruction and hardly ever spent the time to notice his faults, he always proclaimed that he was the almighty Zim and was a great invader though he has yet to prove it beyond invading his own home planet in which he wrecked approximately three times.

A Irken had the common features of two solid colored eyes of variable colors; Zim had red, two antenna angular for male and curly for female; Zim where short and angular, green skin and a love of sugary or fattening foods, even though he hated the people of earth he really liked churro's, they survived for longs periods of life by equipping PAK's to their backs which was both life support and multifunctional tool kit, he was constantly testing the limits at which his PAK could go having once been a scientist.

Zim's race was of an entirely short yet productive stature for a bug like species of alien, coming in to usually heights of an average three feet or a lot shorter, otherwise if you were taller then that you'd be capable for elite positions.

Zim never noticed how much his race despised him until The Tallest the two leaders of his race told him in several different languages, a puppet show and an entire list of recordings where he went horribly wrong that he was a certifiably convicted defective beyond a shadow of a doubt; they would bring him in for trial but they were afraid he might destroy them by accident, but no more were they going to pretend like they gave a damn as they left him alone and told Zim if he were to come anywhere near Irken territory or called them again he'd be hunted down like a common earth dog.

This caused Zim to mope for two minute before he decided to go into research on how to take over the earth; he didn't care if it was his mission anymore he was still going to attempt planet domination plenty of times before giving up and it was because of his inexhaustible ego that he met his horrible doom, he just didn't know it yet as he put on his human disguise and left to get far enough away to study in peace so that a human named Dib wouldn't interfere with his next ingenious plan.

**Elsewhere.**

"Invader Tenn reporting, I wish to resign and claim self defectiveness my tallest." The Irken was talking to a video screen that showed her the two tallest of their race, Purple and Red who were confused about why Invader Tenn wanted to do that not that they would ever know that it was someone else's fault that Tenn received an incredibly faulty shipment of SIR units, she did a rather decent job of surviving them.

SIR unit… Standard Information Retrieval unit, they are robots given to Irken invaders to assist in gathering information and giving assistance where necessary to help in conquering planets, they come equipped with compact missile and laser weapon arrays for creating a quick defensive perimeter, can be modified for many different situations.

"Why would you do that?" Red asked as he gobbled up curly fries at a sickening pace, but due to their PAK's Irken's never got fat unless it was in their genetics or unless they willed the obesity to happen by deactivating certain PAK body regulating functions.

"Because I have failed you my tallest and I wish exile myself to an uncharted planet." This is not really what Tenn was going to do, but she wasn't about to tell the tallest she was going to go comfort Zim, they'd kill her for that or for even liking him in the first place she found his destructive mannerism cute and rather innocent.

Tenn was in between Tak and Zim in height, had bright pink eyes that seemed like a light shade of red, she was a rather attractive by Irken standards, she was what many people would call cute or even adorable, her eyelashes were probably the prominent feature to attract mates.

"Very well your banished have fun with that, you can still collect on your invaders pay check ever month if you want, now get off the line we need to continue celebrating the fact that Zim will leave us alone now." Purple said when he started stuffing his face with snacks, despite looking alike the tallest had many key differences one being their key colors of red and purple uniform like their namesakes, the other being taste in lasers, fog machines and food in general.

"Thank you my tallest." Tenn said as she bowed to them on the monitor before shutting it off.

"Oh… I hope Zim doesn't get all suicidal or emo, at least until I get there to get a picture of it…" Tenn blushed at her thoughts, before grabbing her badly hurt SIR unit Air, she had been damaged by the other rampaging crazy SIR units Tenn received mysteriously out of the blue, Air protected Tenn with her life and was capable of repairing herself.

"Calculating odds of survival for Tenn's crush of being alive before arrival on earth at three percent, he's probably going to die you know." Air didn't want her master to chase after some insane Irken who didn't know the meaning of quit, but what choice did she have.

"Oh come on, even I know his chances of survival aren't that low you know that Skoodge is already there probably trying to help Zim in any way possible, Skoodge is always too loyal for his own good and you didn't comment about him being capable of dying." Tenn looked her SIR unit waiting for a response.

"Okay so I might not have included his surviving an infinite energy absorbing blob or the any number of explosions that could wipe out a normal Irken, but Skoodge has greater survivability after having survived being shot into a planet from a high powered plasma cannon on the Massive; a planet need I remind you is covered in slaughtering rat people, besides he's much more… saner..." Air the SIR unit really didn't like where Tenn was going with this and wanted her to choose someone who'd handle a relationship with tact.

"OH, don't worry so much, Zim hardly ever kills anyone around him except Irken's of a high level stature and those times were mostly accidents he can't help it if he's a deliciously destructive guy." Air gave her master a look before quieting down and waiting for their trip to earth to finish.

**Back on earth.**

Zim was currently in the countryside far away from Dib, enjoying the peace and quiet as he worked on his new take over the world plot, by making giant quick burrowing flesh eating worms and he was currently studying one with such an intense focus that he wouldn't notice if he was about to die as Gir wasn't there to distract him enough to notice such a thing about to happen to him.

If you're wondering where Zim got the idea for giant flesh eating worms, he's seen the first Tremors movie one too many times, always gawking at the ingenious simplicity of such a dangerous creature, the terror that came from puny human minds made him want to recreate it.

Out in space above planet Earth two ships were fighting over a seemingly innocent package that would help cause Zim pain; in a completely over the top violent way, when one ship exploded it sent the package towards earth and the other ship not knowing what became of it decided to just leave.

Chances of said object hitting an Earthworm from falling into earths atmosphere would be highly unlikely of a situation to happen at all, it was even more likelier to a hit an Irken while falling at those speeds… which it ironically enough hit both an earthworm and an Irken at the same time causing one huge mess that was known as the Power Suit Incident.

The PSI was eventually written into a song that went like this…

_Irkworm Zim! (Think of this as the oddly warped version of Earthworm Jim's theme song) _

_From the planet Irk he did grow._

_Irkworm Zim!_

_From the sky a super suit did fall._

_Zim was just an evil earth invading Irken piece of defectiveness but it all came to a destructive end. Hahaha. (A scene is shown where the power suit crash lands into Zim destroying his PAK and then fusing his body with an earthworm he happened to be holding saving his life while almost nearly killing him)_

_Irkworm Zim! He's such a crazy guy._

_Irkworm Zim! He explodes things up into the sky._

_Blowing up the universe, finding explosions very fun, Zim is the only Irkworm but he's a mighty one._

_Look out. (Tak appears trying to strangle Zim wile sinister music plays, before the scene changes to more peaceful view of Zim's house where he is busy playing with a hack-y sack to peaceful music before returning instantly to the normal music that plays as the theme)_

_Despite his new power suit and his freaking huge ray gun, he still acts like he's more important then everyone…(taken into context it means even with power he's still the same goofball)_

_But even with his super suit being really super strong, he'll only survive if his friends ever come along. (Tenn, Skoodge, Gir and even Gaz were standing in the background)_

_Irkworm Zim!_

_Tenn: I think he's a love of mine!_

_Irkworm Zim!_

_Gir: My master's one of all kinds. WAFFLES! TACO MUFFINS! AHAHHAHAHAHAAA. (Gir would undoubtedly ruin the song like this)_

_Irkworm, Irkworm, Irkworm, Irkworm… Zim!_

_I… AM… ALMIGHTY… ZIMMMMM!_

_Skoodge: GIR RAVING! (Gir was in the background holding a dance party ruining the finishing theme)_

Now back to the story at hand where Tenn was standing next to a completely changed Zim who now had a worm like body below the neck, he was lying on the couch crying about being even more defective now that his PAK was destroyed and that the odd suit thing kept doing weird things with him whenever he went near it.

The suit in question was sitting across the room in the corner not moving or anything, it was white with blue glove like hands and two blue stripes making an X across the chest, it had a holstered red ray blaster at its side.

"Seriously Zim it's not that bad, I'm sure you can still do… stuff… and I'll help..." Tenn watched as that caused another round of tears; Zim didn't like feeling useless like the time he turned himself into baloney, at least that was completely temporary.

"Sheesh he's really broken up about that isn't he… I mean after the tallest called him a defective and then having your entire world turned upside down like this, must be horrible... I thought Zim would bounce back by trying to take over the Earth again but he seems too shattered to do anything now... after that thing landed on him." Skoodge said motioning to the suit still sitting in the corner.

Oh Zim would bounce back and he would try to find a way to return to normal, he would also try to start being his own Irk-Worm thingy… that led Zim to thinking of the title of Irkworm Zim as a catchy name, but then again he continually called all the humans worm babies and now he was literally part worm himself, oh the irony he sadly thought.

Suddenly a Cow fell through the roof landing on the frequently ignored Mini-Moose and Zim cheered up instantly maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all, however he would have preferred a moose fall through his ceiling instead of the hideous meat creature, but he took what he can get.

End One-shot. (If anyone would like to write a story based on this idea; go ahead, I'm not taking this any further.)

Darkon: In reality I seriously hate cows and they are the penultimate evil of the world, so therefore I would never write about one in a positive light… ever… which is why I had my minions do it for me.

Trio: We need a better union dude. (Gets a fish tossed at him and he clams up while lunging onto the fish with fervor nibbling at it with his mighty triangular penguin beak.)

Darkon: Other then mild mutiny I'm just remembering the episode where Jim faced an evil green clone of himself and thought the word Zim, then this came to mind and makes me wonder what would happen if What's-her-name became involved all of the sudden or some such and I realize that I'm a freakishly bad plot maker, so I'm not taking it any further.

Trio: That's not true; you're just really horrible at math and lots of other stuff dude.

Darkon: Thank you for the words of encouragement…


End file.
